Norm FINALLY LOSES IT: Flat Earth UPDATE, Starbucks fail, and the GD Jets’ Never-Ending Fumble
In a world where prediction markets are the new casinos, Starbucks is somehow still everywhere, and the New York Jets continue to redefine the word hopeless, Norman Chad is back—and he’s officially gone Gambling Mad.
This week’s episode dives into the kind of chaos only Chad can navigate: conspiracy theories, caffeine meltdowns, and football disasters—all wrapped in his signature cocktail of wit and bewilderment.
The World Is Flat (Apparently)
Norman Chad has never been one to buy into the flat-earth theory. But in true Gambling Mad fashion, he’s willing to poke a few holes in the “globe” we’ve all come to know and love.
“If the Earth is round,” he muses, “how do people stand sideways?”
It’s classic Chad—dry, absurd, and just plausible enough to make you wonder for half a second. His comedic case for the flat Earth is airtight in the most unscientific way imaginable: people can’t stand on spinning balls, globes show round Earths while maps show flat ones, and nobody has ever heard from those who “fell off.” Coincidence? Chad doesn’t think so.
Prediction Markets: Wall Street Meets Vegas
When it comes to gambling dressed in a three-piece suit, Chad pulls no punches.
Prediction markets like Polymarket and Khi claim to be “futures platforms,” not gambling sites. To Chad, that’s just marketing spin. “When 90% of your trades are on NFL and college football,” he says, “you’re not an investor—you’re a degenerate in a tie.”
Even better, he notes, Donald Trump Jr. was once an advisor to one of these platforms. “That’s the strategy,” Chad jokes. “Give Don Jr. a bag of cash and hope his dad legalizes your bets. It’s the American dream—grift, gamble, repeat.”
The Jets: A Comedy of Errors Across the Atlantic
The New York Jets, according to Chad, are the football equivalent of a bad punchline that keeps getting retold.
At 0–5 with no turnovers, no interceptions, and no hope, they’re the team even their fans bet against. This week, they’re the “home” team in London—a setup Chad finds poetic. “Jets fans will fly six hours to England,” he quips, “just to crash their rental cars driving on the wrong side of the road.”
He promises that if the Jets win, he’ll relocate somewhere in the old British Empire—“maybe Fiji, maybe Canada, probably the flat side of the Earth.”
NFL Kickers: Too Perfect for Their Own Good
In Chad’s world, even success can be a problem—and NFL kickers are Exhibit A.
With seven kickers perfect on the season, he argues they’ve become too good. “They’re hitting from sixty yards like it’s nothing,” he says. “They even get to prepare their own footballs before the game. If Tom Brady had that rule, he’d still be playing—probably as a kicker-slash-influencer.”
Starbucks: The True National Emergency
Long before it was cool to critique corporate coffee, Norman Chad declared war on Starbucks.
His “Just Say No to Starbucks” movement began in 1999 when the chain had about 2,500 stores. Now, with nearly 19,000 locations, he calls it “the pumpkin-spiced apocalypse.”
But the winds are shifting—Starbucks has begun closing stores and trimming its empire. For Chad, it’s a small but satisfying victory. “Power to the people,” he says. “Bring back mom-and-pop coffee shops. Bring back refills. Bring back humanity.”
Behind the Madness: The Gambling Mad Crew
Behind the camera, Gambling Mad is powered by a small but mighty team of three.
Executive Producer Rick Barrio Dill runs the ship, though Chad admits he hasn’t actually seen him in seven years. Producer Bri Coorey keeps the show alive (with occasional help from her dog), and Associate Producer Asher Friedberg—who’s never heard of Johnny Carson—does the editing.
“It’s a miracle the show airs at all,” Chad says. “But it does—and somehow, it gets better every week.”
Johnny Carson, Fresca, and the Final Word
Every episode of Gambling Mad ends with a reminder that Norman Chad is part comedian, part cultural historian.
This week’s plea? “Go watch Johnny Carson clips, you heathens.”
Carson, Chad says, was the gold standard—smooth, sharp, and effortlessly funny. “None of the Jimmys even come close,” he insists.
So, as always, Chad signs off with Fritos in hand, a Fresca on standby, and one undeniable truth:
The world might be flat, but Norman Chad’s takes are anything but.
